Irritant people, Gay people, Smelly people….
Traveling the world for many years does bring much experience when it comes to situations where other people and animals can be quite irritating. Some people are professionals in irritating antics. So for some fun I will share some of my crazy irritating experiences I’ve had:
picture posztos shutterstock.com
4 pm in the afternoon, hey kids how are you doing
Now before you all call me a gay basher take note I do not care about the sexual preferences of others, male or female. I am trying to adapt to the rest of humanity by wearing clothes. Even the most remote tribe in the Amazon rain forest wear penis cokers, that is what we call them in Holland. In English it would be a penis tube I guess. Anyway you get the picture. They wear a cover for their genitals. Now I understand that people have been suppressed by our culture and indeed that’s not cool and unfortunately this still is the case in many countries. However in my humble opinion that does not give people the right to shock people in the middle of the day by being totally naked or by wearing inappropriate clothes such as leather pants with their cocks waving all about. I just happened to catch a conversation of a young boy and his mom in Amsterdam during the Gay Pride parade. The young 7 year old boy asked his mom why are all these guys waving around their cocks jumping around on boats with loud house music playing while the boats slowly move through the Amsterdam canals. The mother said that these were gay people being very happy and celebrating being gay. The young boy said so why is my father not waving his cock around on the boat? The mother answered the boy saying your father is not gay he is heterosexual and they do not celebrate heterosexuality by showing off their genitals in public. The kid answered that’s kind of lame mom, can I be a homo later? In Holland some politicians participate in the gay pride parade in homes of gaining gay followers they are stand between half naked gay people with mustaches and pieced nipples waving their cocks around. Yippee I am gay, look, look, look I am gay embracing the politician with two arms to make photos for the Dutch gay magazine and national newspapers. That gay pride parade crap has expanded throughout the world, from Germany to Vancouver, Canada. What “extravaganza’ gays apparently do not understand is that they actually portray themselves as “idiots” with a sexual excuse to behave badly and obscene in public. They not only give the perfect excuse for homophobic people to hate them but his way of celebrating being gay is actually working against them. If you want to wave cocks around do it in the privacy of your own home. People choose to live in homes with windows, these windows are covered with things called curtains for humans that like their privacy.
Gay TV propaganda personalities.
Picture by: S-Bukley shutterstock.com
I am such a happy gay, do you not think I am happy?
But it does not stop their Hollywood and TV stations around the world promote the crap out of gay people. My girlfriend sometimes watches E-News and there is this guy Ross Matthews, who has his own show on E called Hello Ross. If you are a heterosexual and you have nothing against gays, do not watch that show, I repeat do not watch that show. I had a fucking dream about that irritant after I saw I bit of his show “clown” on TV. I got in an argument with my girlfriend, I asked what’s wrong with that person why does he behave like that? She said well he is gay, I said no kidding, but why does he behave like a child and why does he have spasm attacks with his hands and legs and he has a problem with his vocals, he speaks like a five year old girl ? I got in an argument went to bed early and surely was punished with a dream being followed By Ross, horror.
In Holland we had that terrible gay TV Paul de Leeuw with his own show, this person looks like a pig with down syndrome, this “Mongol” clown finds himself extremely funny and of course always has to make sexual jokes about his gay preferences and he is not shy to touch other non gay men in an inappropriate way on national TV. He was solely responsible for me to never watch Dutch TV again. In the heterosexual world that behavior would be considered sexual harassment.
Anderson Cooper on live TV said he is proud to be gay, well great Mr celebrity what do you want a medal? Ellen DeGeneres’s show is gay promotion TV. It irritates the crap out of me why can’t they just shut up about their sexual preferences.
The Heterosexual Weather person.
How would you like to hear this whir watching the weather channel: I am your new heterosexual weather newsreader, today, as a heterosexual I just want to say I am proud to be a heterosexual, before telling you how hot it’s going to be ( he now makes a joke hahahaI I know I am a hot heterosexual) I just want to say how much I like other heterosexuals. It will be quit hot, as a matter of fact it is hot now, taking of his T Shirt on national TV. I feel really sexy now as a heterosexual, unzipping his pants. As a heterosexual this weather makes me really hot sweaty. In his under pants now the newsreader tells you it will be really steamy hot in the coming week, now his voice is super high pitched and squeaky and he can’t help himself anymore, he turns around and bows over while dropping his pants. My third eye just wants to say hi you hot weather fanatics I can’t wait to see all you heterosexuals the next day.
Dutch Gay Politician Pim Fortuyn, R.I.P.
There was a gay politician in Holland that expresses himself in a positive way his name was Pim Fortuyn. I voted for him, the only person ever in politics who got my vote. His debate with an Imam on Dutch TV where Pim said you can call me a filthy gay pig that’s fine, but I have the freedom to call Islam a religion of retards. Then political correct TV producers and program announcers Barend en Van Dorp ( many times gays as subject for their TV viewing rates) asked Pim Fortuyn: you were was spotted in an Amsterdam dark room. A dark room is where several people that don’t know each other come together in a pitch black room and shag the crap out each other. Pim’s answer was a classic, he said I didn’t know you guys were also into dark rooms? Surely, Barend answered no, I heard that you were there. Pim then said: yes I was in my private time, you should try it sometime it’s fun. Pim was working towards being voted for prime minister from Holland he predicted he may be killed like Kennedy. Pim was shot dead by some left wing animal freak lover and there were also many rumors of a conspiracy as Holland ( royals) would not tolerate a Dutch gay prime minister. RIP Pim, his funeral was the most impressive I ever witnessed.
Personally I have no problem if somebody wants to eat himself to death. But as always others people habits and addictions become the problems of others who are trying to live a normal live. For example try to sit in a close compartment like I lately did in a train (or plane) and some kind of blubber from apparently “another planet” is squeezing you into a small no man’s land space when” it “sit down right next to you. The smell is terrible an odor of rotten fish lying for weeks dead in the sun with rotten eggs is surrounding and suffocating you.
Then there is this huge head sticking straight on the shoulders as the neck disappeared in a maze of human blubber. All the skin that’s left over from this “human” falls over each other and it is wet with transpiration and of course the air-co in the train just happen to be not working for this day. To make things worse the human blob takes of his shoes and socks with holes in it releasing another poisonous gas attack stench destroying the last bit of breathable air what was left in the train. The toe cheese literally can be seen through the holes in the socks, that looks like mini garbage bags and little chunks of this glued together cheese chunks are falling out from the holes of his socks on the floor. The stench is now everywhere and some people try to escape, but the space is small and the toilet
has permanently three people inside that are trying to escape the onslaught of disgusting odor, we are all trapped.
Food is served and now I managed to put earplugs in my nose and try to breathe through my mouth. It is only the beginning, dinner is served and the human blob has three special plastic containers brought with him with, herring and onions, spicy Indian food and a garlic cold Sea Eel with unions ( quite healthy, but not very air friendly food combinations). He looked at me and said, I am on a diet, I wanted to answer, bro if you stop eating for 10 years you still be a fat looking alien from another planet, but instead I said, ok good. Sadly the trip takes five hours, I blindfolded myself and asked for an extra pair of earplugs and I continue my trip blindfolded, with two ear plugs in my nose two ear plugs in my ears and covered eyes. I find a few books to use as a pillar to try and protect me being suffocated by the fat man. I found half of a lifesaving sleeping pill which I took and this knocked me out for four hours when I woke up I found out I was the only person left with the blob snoring next to me.
The book wall I made fell apart and I had to put in some effort to release myself from the surrounding human fat blob. Apparently a woman was fed-up with the unbearable stench and she sprayed perfume all over and around the sleeping fat man. For a minute the people in the train compartment literally applauded for the brave woman. Apparently the situation escalated just after the woman sprayed perfume on the fat blob, just 10 seconds later he fell over to the my side destroying my improvised lifesaving book pillar and started leaning half on me / over me ( I was out from the sleeping pill but heard the story later from the a passenger).
Because the whole mountain of human blob shifted to my side his huge fat ass was lifted a little bit resulting in huge loud record breaking farts being unleashed in the already tortured little space, producing a smell mixture of death eel with molted garlic, union and the herring apparently all of these wretched ingredients had a chemical reaction with the spicy Indian food. Which resulted in people becoming physically ill.
When I woke up it looked surrealistic as the first thing I saw looked like a maze of blob with jungle hair, it was the fat mans armpit in my face while he was trying to reach for the air-co button above him. The air-co button finally squashed and broke down under the pressure of its huge triple X sausage things called fingers, This armpit thing is 10 cm from my face, In thought I saved myself filling up my nostrils but for the first time I smelled rotten sewer through my mouth.
Don’t get me wrong not only fat people are smelly, but smelly people in general irritate the crap out of me. When I visited Egypt upon arrival a small mini van was picking me up from the airport. The moment the back of the truck was opened to put our baggage in the small minivan, at least 30 flies entered the car. The reason became pretty clear as on my drive to the hotel through the city of Cairo, I could see that in every side street of the main road the streets were filled with garbage and broken down burned out cars. People threw their garbage out of the windows and then the woman dressed up like a garbage bags fully “dressed” with black clothing covering their faces, they named these “clothing” bags the Burka. At least now I thought I knew why these woman would dress like that, it was to protect them from the stench and to adapt to their neighborhood. The guy next to me says it was to hide the ugly, obese, mustache wearing baby throwers ( woman who produce lots of children ), but I thought that was a little harsh. The worst is that these woman totally dressed in black doing their daily routine walking around dressed with “garbage bags” clothing became immune to the stench they adapted to their habitat. Then they would run around in the hot sun for the whole day, leading their black garbage bag clothes to a boiling point, causing the woman to sweat like a marathon runner. Surely with my luck three ‘Ninja’s” ( Ninja’s, more friendly then garbage bags) entered my bus at the next stop, as soon as they entered the bus The “ninja’s” then grabbed to the inside of their “ninja” suites filling their hands with cold couscous with garlic which they start consuming during the bus ride, sweating liters of human waste on the bus seats, while sitting in the row in front of me. Welcome to Egypt says another “ninja” in half baking English trying to speak through a microphone in front of the minivan. I told they guy next to me we were getting punished for his remarks about the obese, smelling, mustache remark. His girlfriends had tampons in her carry-on bag and she gave us four of them using two of them herself. We all were sitting in the back of the minivan. with our nostrils filled with tampons. I was so happy his girlfriend brought those. If you could harvest the stench out of that train wagon with the fat man and the three female ninja’s in the minivan , you would have the perfect chemical weapon.
Here is a list of my top irritating people:
1. Offended Muslims.
2. Lying Politicians.
3. Environmental Global warming and climate change experts.
4. Super Smelly People.
5. Arrogant, Egotistical, Hypocritical people.
6. People with a God syndrome.
7. Overly Pro-gay community.
8. People who like jazz.
9. People with an authority syndrome.
10. Fat people who think they are so cool.
Then there is the people who somehow always manage to walk in front of you, you go left the go left, you go right, they go right, you stop they stop. They haunt you on the stairs in shopping malls and when you are in a hurry towards a destination, they find you and “professionally” start blocking the path. The similar type will drive in front of you and when you want to pass them they go the same way almost like some kind of magnet.
A similar type of human can be found in the cinema, surely if you had one bad odor experience like I experienced in my train ride and minivan bus trip, they start to popup everywhere. People who did not wash their clothes, do not brush their teeth, alcoholics, drug users, but above all the retards who eat crap from a noisy bag in the cinema. I mean common, you want to relax with your spouse and then there are a few of these eating machines who can’t stop reaching to their candy bags, popcorn bags and fried food bags, drinking gallons of Coke while stuffing more sugary crap in their belly containers. I wrote a complaint letter once to the cinema and asked them why can you just not put food in a plastic or paper cups. These bags make so much noise and once it became too much for me. This overweight eating champion sitting in front of me in the cinema eating like a noisy irritant making noises every second. Every five minutes he stood up to lean over the chair in front of him to grab food from his other fat friends and on top of that his huge fat ass is blocking my view, I had enough, I complained once, but the young cinema employee just stood there and smiled doing nothing. I waited for the perfect timing and got myself a bucket full of popcorn and a milkshake bucket size. The fat disturbing bastard leaned forward to inhale then next portion of garbage food while wrestling with the crispy back destroying an important moment from the movie. I leaned forward as well and grabbed his his jogging pants with my left hand and a huge bare ass became visible. I grabbed the bucket of popcorn with my right hand and filled up his pants with popcorn followed by the gigantic milkshake and within seconds All hell broke loose in the cinema, I was asked to leave the cinema I was then escorted out by security guards.
Irritating and frightening animals.
Some animals just don’t make sense, like this irritating bird that seems to have a crush on me near my home in Thailand. Birds normally “sing” but this one is stuck like a broken record, it just makes one really long ass irritating fewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww noises, how annoying ( always 4.45 am like this brid is looking on a damn clock). You have mosquitoes that not only drink your blood and spread diseases such as malaria and dengue fever, but they have the need to buzz in your ear and wake you up when you are in a deep sleep. Spiders are also annoying they are fast crawling little horror freaks and you got plenty in Thailand. I once killed one gigantic spider ( don’t ask me for a species name, it was big hairy and ugly and mean looking) by splashing a coconut into his spider skull. The Thai people said don’t kill the spider as they kill the mosquito’s catching them by making a web. I tried to explain that both the mosquito and the spider with his web were unwelcome in my home. Then you have the Tuk-kae ( lizard like species) in Thailand ( gecko) they are aggressive and make a very loud annoying noise. The bull frog in the rain season can be heard from miles away, imagine a dozen sitting under your window thinking they are opera singers every single night. The snake is my least favorite, reminding me of the main character Indy in the raiders of the lost ark movies, I seen my portion of snakes. Two cobra’s, one at my home and three green vipers. One almost landed on my shoulder as he thought that my blinds were his new home. My daughter once visited me in Thailand and while she wanted to put on the TV in the guest house room a green snake wrapped himself around the electricity extension cord, scaring my daughter to death. Then termites ate two of my doors and the sealing, they are nasty , you won’t see them and when you do they build a nest as big as the size of 4 bowling balls over the length of your sealing.
But I would never move again to any other country in the world, I have found my peace, yoga, beach walks and a Thai boxing gym and have found peace.
I created my own home cinema free of fat smelly people disturbing my view and crushing the sound effects of my favorite movies. Surely I understand that most really fat overweight people have a mental problem. My is advice get a balloon in your belly if you can’t stop eating. Do some healing meditation and yoga. Stop eating sugar and fried foods, milk products and pasta’s, start only drinking water a few gallons a day and soon you are happy and back on planet earth with less odor and fat and our health insurance will be much less expensive because of it, we are all winners.
As for the gay people, do whatever you want to do just don’t parade this gay thing around and push the gayness on tot others. keep you cocks in your pants and dress and behave appropriate in public and stop irritating people in public places or TV.
As for the smelly people use new clothes daily and try perfume, shower at least once a day. If you do eat garlic, don’t mix it up with milk products and ice cream desserts creating a chemical reaction. Eat parsley after you eat garlic and don’t drink soda’s like coke while consuming the garlic. If you sweat a lot try to change clothes and lets brush the teeth at least in the morning and in the afternoon. Always take mouth water with you and a deodorant, smell you armpits every hours to make sure your stench is not bothering other people. Check your intestines for parasites that are blocking your stool and causing the bloating and bad odor. Thank you for being social and I hope you enjoyed my tips.
I wrote this on the couch naked with my bloated belly, producing a fart every 20 seconds, eating a garlic snack, but at least I do this in the privacy of my own home with a Girlfriend that has become immune to this ritual.
I wish you all tons of hygiene, may you never have the experiences with bad Oder and irritating people as I have.