Many people always asked me if I can prove that religion is a hoax and God and Jesus did not exist, I did some research and traced some far family relatives from the witnesses in the bible who claimed to have seen Jesus do miracles, this is what the result was: Jesus and his followers at that time were alcoholics. It’s actually the Romans who made a rule that these religious people could no longer be intoxicated as they were out of control ( making love in public, orgies and of course violence). Now this would explain many biblical stories such as that Jesus changed the water into wine, they had a huge party with twelve of Jesus friends and one prostitute name Magdalena, they run out of wine and Jesus had a secret wine stash. Everybody was pissed there was no more wine at the party and then Jesus fooled them and said I changed water into wine and went to his secret stash, the party/wedding continued, surely all the intoxicated people told that story for a long time into the future. At the same time they made a painting of that party. This also explains the stories why Jesus was running around on water and others spilt open the red sea and build a boat for the big flooding, the whole gang was intoxicated. That started already Jesus his birth, his mother was married to an alcoholic and she drunk herself a lot, so then she needed an excuse for her pregnancy and told her husband it was a miracle it was God who made her pregnant, not the neighbor ( her husband was impotent already for years). That’s why things got tricky in the bible as Jesus was born in Nazareth, but they needed the messiah to be born in Jerusalem. So they had to make a story about some wise man following a star to get baby Jesus to be born in Jerusalem. They all were drunk and did not know where to go in the dessert and they finally ended up in some stable with some nomads. When Jesus was born and more and more liked to party with him the Romans got him for being intoxicated in public. Many people always ended up on the cross when going against the Roman empire and Jesus was no exception. But the Roman who stabbed Jesus with a spear did a bad job as he was drunk and he just made a flesh wound. So Jesus actually did not die and after he came of the cross he took a long sleep and a few bottles of wine he came out of hiding and everybody talked he resurrected from the dead. Btw the witnesses said there were many people resurrected from the dead so it seemed like one big huge zombie apocalypse at that time so resurrecting from the dead was nothing special.
The Muslims learned from all these mistakes in Christianity so they wrote in their holy book it was forbidden to drink. But they also had a problem as their prophet raised war on the infidel and married a 6 year old girl and had sex with her when she was 9. Today there is a name for such behavior another problem is the reward for martyrdom, the book promises you 72 virgins. Now I assume they have to be Muslim virgins which could be difficult as most young brides from 6 till 9 are not virgin anymore (Mohammed was a great sample of that), you get stuck with babies or children up to 5 years with not much experience. Or if it is not Muslims virgins, but any virgin it could be 72 virgins from 120 kilo each or some fat armed nuns? The problem now with the Muslim religion about flying horses etc is that Christianity has actually a plausible excuse for some of this miracles as I explained earlier they all were intoxicated and they also wrote a new book. But the Muslim religion forbids alcohol so their leader was quit sober marrying a 6 year old when he left on a flying horse. The old testament was to gruesome so a new testament was written. The Koran writers learned from this so Mohammed said no change no edits, this is the truth and it cannot be questioned, you don’t like it you die!
As all eye witnesses testimonies in the bible and other “holy” books miracles are the indicator of truth for religious people, Jesus water walking and Mohammed flying away on a horse, the far relatives of these witnesses are now believers in Chris Angels, David Blaine and Dynamo as they levitate and walk on water with thousands of live witnesses and millions of TV viewers.